We have some friends, let's call them Toby & Jane Oakley* who live in Cornwall. Back in March, we were lucky enough to have a lovely week in thier holiday home, and in exchange I promised to make them some new curtains. Jane* and I went shopping for the fabric, lining etc, measurements were taken, one pair were made, although not without many mistakes, during the holiday and I came back home to finish the other 8 pairs and pelmets.
And here I have to confess, I've been a rubbish friend, and I haven't yet finished them.
Earlier this year, I applied to join a quilting bee for the first time, and was excitingly accepted. Half way through April the fabric and instructions arrived and they've been sitting on my sewing desk looking at me accusingly (I think the sweet chocolate bee that came with them was doing more looking than the fabrics to be honest) while I have failed to start the block. It's a wonky square in square block, I've made them before, no reason not to just get stuck in.
This morning I had a coffee and a good girly chat with a quilting friend. We got quite carried away (ok, I got carried away!) discussing a secret project, and I was really touched when said friend said she would only want people to help who she could trust to sew things to a really good standard. Judging by the to do list I've come away with, it seems I am to be trusted to do that.
So, 'what the heck is she going on about', I hear you ask? (If you're Charlotte or Kelly, that word's probably not 'heck'....) what's the connection? Am I about to not do another thing for someone?
Nope, far from it. What this morning made me realise was that I've been having a bit of a crisis of confidence, and not trusting my ability to make things for other people. Having been less than well since March hasn't helped - I've had little energy and a serious issue with brain fog and lack of ability to concentrate. Anything I've done for myself has been fraught with mistakes, unpicking, stupidity. And so I just haven't had the faith in my abilities to do things for other people. I've blamed it on work pressure, family commitments etc, but cards on the table, heart on sleeve, the fact is I didn't trust myself to do them right, and I was scared to ruin them. But if I'm trusted to get involved with the secret project , then I need to stop being a silly billy and just get on with the curtains first!
Today, I've tested myself and made the bee block. I'm not convinced it's what the bee member wanted - I think it might be too sedate, but I managed to make it. I've sent a photo, and if they don't like it, I will make another one.
But more importantly, here & now, I'm not only apologising to our lovely friends Toby & Jane* for my total muppetness and rubbish-friend-ness, I'm making a promise that I will get them finished before the bank holiday weekend, whatever it takes. You're all my witnesses - all 13 of you that read this blog! - and you have the right to nag me as much as you like to make sure I get them done.
* names have been changed to protect the innocent