Saturday, 30 June 2012

In the words of Etta James....

.... at last!

This post is nothing to do with quilting, but it's big news.  Well, it is for me.  For years I've been fighting various doctors and gynaecologists to get a resolution to my 'women's troubles'. Up till now, because of my lack of children, I've met rigid resistance to doing the one thing which would resolve everything.... but leave me unable to have children.
Now, I realise I'm going out on a limb here, as this decision isn't one everyone understands.  In fact, I'd go so far as to say very few people understand, unless they know me well.  The thing is, I decided a long time ago that parenthood was not on the cards for me.  Don't get me wrong, I love children, I have nephews and nieces that I adore, and I loved having my much younger sisters to stay with me when they were girls - I could do all the fun big sister / aunty stuff and then send them home!  But due to circumstances, health problems including a very scary ectopic pregnancy, and the passing of time, it's just not been meant that children were for me, and I'm OK with that.  Let's face it, when I was 17 and having my appendix out I asked the doctor to 'take everything else' while he was in there - he told me I'd regret it in later life, but honestly I can't think of one day when I would have. 

However, over the last 6 years I have been spectacularly unsuccessful in persuading any members of the healthcare profession that I am able to make that decision, or that even if I wanted them, with my age and the health problems I have, I'd be extremely unlikely to be able to get pregnant.  

Over the last 7 months the problems have escalated to the point there they have all but destroyed my quality of life, stopped me doing things I used to love, affected my social life, and threatened to destroy our business, I have finally found a wonderful gynaecologist who understands that the ability to live any kind of life is more important than forcing me to continue with 10% of a life just because I have no kids.

So, today I was approved for a total hysterectomy, and I just have to wait for the op date - hopefully around 8 weeks.  I'm nervous, about the op and it's risks, but I'm not devastated about it's implications - far from it.  The relief I feel at the thought that there is an end in sight is immense.  And if anyone else out there is struggling with similar problems, you have my sympathy and immense understanding, and if you're still fighting to get treatment I really wish you the very best of luck, and if you don't get a resolution, ask for a second opinion. I'm very glad I did.


  1. I too always knew I wouldn't have kids, more to do with emotional scars than anything physical.
    But I always enjoyed their company and have loads in the family.
    When someone has genuine need for an op like that why does anyone think they know better than you about your emotional life. So patronising!
    I'm really glad you have finally got approved and although it is a tough op and difficult to get over, it sounds like the best thing that could happen for you. I'm so pleased it is finally getting sorted xx

  2. so happy for you that this is going to be resolved - about bloody time! Sodding doctors and their opinions xxx

  3. Good for you! Shame you had to stick it out for such a long time, and here's looking forward to the difference it will make to your life.

  4. Hey Pennie - glad you have good news and you can look forward to a better quality of life after the op. Here's to a speedy recovery :)

  5. Good Luck Pennie. I have long come to the conclusion that the NHS/doctors do wonderful things for people with cancer and those with similar life threatening conditions. But they are major league rubbish for a whole myriad of other conditions, that whilst, they may not kill you any time soon they ruin the quality of your life. All too often we're just expected to put up with things and our feelings about our health and bodies belittled because the consultants do not know what's wrong with us or think us capable of deciding what's best for us. I am so glad you've managed to get them to listen and I hope your quality of life improves after the op and that you have a super speedy recovery! {{Hugs}}

  6. My 1st comment has gone awol!???

    I am so happy that you will finally get your quality of life back - woo hoo for the good doctor that finally saw sense xx

  7. My mum had a hysterectomy age 37, changed her whole life. She was living 4 days a month and surviving the rest and been pleading for the op since she was 30. But get this, she may have wanted more children, even though she already had three. No kids or loads of kids it's one women have to fight for. Grr. Here's wishing you a speedy recovery.


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